the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
