omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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