arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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