Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
