I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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