I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
