thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
