i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
