I don't usually arrange sex via text message
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
