you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Hippo gnu deer
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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