so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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