okay pat passed out under dana's car
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I just want to make out with him forever
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
