we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
