nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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