i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
