You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
