Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
