That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize