Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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