I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
