I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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