so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
