so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
