Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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