Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
