hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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