Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
