well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
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