hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
