Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
bring money and cleavage
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
