Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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