I bet he comes in French.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
