the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
