you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
