CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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