Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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