Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
well you can't waste a boner
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
