Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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