its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
