I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
