i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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