You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
