First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
