I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
