you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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