After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
