Someone shit on the floor
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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