The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
