guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Randomize
