Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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