How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I stole a fireplace last night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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