How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
