haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize