I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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