The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
