he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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