Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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