im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
