kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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