So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
