i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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