I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize