I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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