i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
