Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
