That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
