That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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