Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
